Right now I'm listening to a Dave Matthews song from a cd that was released the same year I graduated from high school: 1996. It's like itunes can sense that I'm hearing all about the 10 year reunion I missed over the weekend. Instant Messenger wasn't even around back then, but it's good for keeping up with the people who were.
I have some mixed emotions about missing this reunion. On the one hand, I did spend a great weekend at Curt and Amy's house. No regrets as far as they're concerned. But looking at myspace slideshows and hearing a little about it makes a part of me wish that I had gone. Even with friending people from our class on myspace over the last year, something about seeing so many of them in all the pictures...I felt like I was suddenly missing people I hadn't seen in years, some of whom I barely knew in school.
Here's the rub, though: I probably would have spent the whole weekend inside my head. Going into it, the whole concept felt daunting. Facing all these people that know me only from such a long time ago. And not really knowing me, but the me that was five or six mes ago. I know that I'm ridiculously over-thinking all this...but part of me has no idea what I would tell these decade-removed acquaintances and time-faded friends about my modern-day life. After meeting their spouse and kids, what would I have to brag about? "Um...I've got this blog. And it's a lot of fun, and I'm good for two or three sentences a week that I am really proud of. Oh, and I work at a bank." Que the awkward silence and the stilted segue to mingle off to another corner of the party.
It would have been sensory overload: Faces older but still familiar, names on the tip of my tongue, voices coming back from forgotten memories. And I'd socialize and do the catch up thing, and all the while I would be sorting out how I fit into the whole situation. In the middle of a reunion with 200 classmates, I'd be using it as yet another context to better understand and define myself before presenting it back to the next person with a nametag.
And it's a shame that all this leads to so much navel-gazing and hem-hawing on my part, because it would be nice to hear firsthand the various stories of my graduating class. To hear how they'd filled their time and find out what time had done to them.
I'm not sure if you're interested in hearing this opinion, seeing as Im an infidel and all, but I say: Honey, you dont have to "fit into the whole situation". What counts is the here and now, baby! If you are happy, then nothing else matters. Live your life free of all the burdens that sort of mentality confines you to. Be a free spirit, its your life and no one elses. No one has the right to tell you how to spend the time that's been given to you.
Posted by: Felyne | October 06, 2006 at 02:31 AM
The funny part is that I feel the same way. 10 year reunion comes up for me in two years, and Im dreading it, only because...I'm happy with my life, but I don't think that other people will be as impressed.
No kids, no husband, no PhD. When it comes to meausring success, I have nothing. And Im scared of people saying "She had so much potential, and she just gave up". My dreams are my own, they don't translate into real grown up life, and I don't know why that freaks me out.
There's always 15 year reunion:)
Posted by: Alicia | October 06, 2006 at 11:22 AM
Don't miss again. I had a blast and probably didn't even get to see 20% of my good friends. Did I have the same thoughts of potential economic inadequacy? Sure. Were there some people there that are doing better than me? Sure. But there were also the cheerleader types that got knocked up in the summer of '96 and are still single. And there were the guys that still work the same job they had in high school. But I found that mostly, people just didn't care. They were just happy to see each other. The dreaded "awkward silence" really wasn't there. It sounded more like The Chris Farley Show.
Them: "Hey...remember the time that guy tried to jump over that bonfire out at "the pits", but fell in and got burned real bad?"
Me: "Yeah"
Them: "That was awesome".
So, take it from me, who's in the same single-childless-not-particularly-thrilled-with-their-choice-of-career-but-still-making-it boat. Next time, go. You'll be glad you did.
Posted by: Luke | October 06, 2006 at 12:18 PM
Reading this reminds me of the one thing I forgot to tell you...there were no nametags. Maybe we should request those for the 15, definitely for the 20.
Posted by: Leighanna | October 07, 2006 at 12:33 AM
I agree with Luke. I went to my 10 year a few weeks ago and loved it. I didn't feel like people were playing the comparison game. It was genuinely a good time. And you would be surprised at how many people are in the same boat you are. It's all good.
Posted by: Spinney | October 07, 2006 at 01:27 PM