With a nod to my favorite sports writer, I decided to keep a running diary of Game 4 of the World Series.
8:20 - I'm guessing we're halfway through the Chevy pre-game show that started at 8:05 EST. Starting lineups have yet to be announced, the Star-Spangled Banner has yet to be lip-synced, er, sung, and the ceremonial first pitch has yet to be thrown.
8:22 - If I were to tell you that I have yet to successfully remain awake for an entire World Series game, would that make me sound old?
8:23 - House promo ad on Fox. Gotta love House.
8:25 - The Red Sox starting lineup is being read by Fred Willard. Wha-huh? Does he have some connection to either Boston or Colorado that I'm unaware of? When the athletes anounce their own starting lineups it's usually good for a few laughs, but where'd they get Fred Willard from? At any rate, he reads off a cue card better than some of the athletes (and half of the SNL celebrity hosts) I've seen recently.
8:27 - This is why pre-game shows SUCK. Fred Willard read nine names and three unfunny jokes, then we went back to commercial. Just start the game already.
8:28 - ESPN Classic is airing Major League...I halfway considered shelving this running diary until I remembered it was the edited version.
8:30 - Keys to the game - Try to wrap up the series vs. must win tonight. That's not a key to the game. A key to the game would be "Work the pitch count" or "Be aggressive on the basepaths" or some other scouting report type thing. Tim McCarver and Joe Buck...are horrible. Not as horrible as Joe Morgan, but purely for alphabetical reasons.
8:32 - Ellsbury leads off the game with a double and Pedroia scrifices him to third. Ortiz raps an RBI single that would have been an easy out that might have also prevented a run if Colorado hadn't pulled their infield in. Now Manny's on with one on and just one out. Surprisingly he hits into a double play, and even more surprisingly, he didn't knock his batting helmet off so you could see the Red Sox do-rag he wears underneath it.
8:36 - Taco Bell's Chil Cheese Nachos del Grande commercial...very funny. And by "funny" I mean "dumb."
8:38 - Brad Garrett is reading the Rockies' lineup. Ugh.
8:39 - Stop the presses! An actual scouting report of Boston starter Jon Lester! Side note: A more experienced sports blogger would have researched the proper name spellings of Matsui and Tulowitski.
8:41 - Fox's Diamond Cam gives us a great point of view...if you wanted to know what things would look like if you were lying on the ground. Also, according to his jersey, he spells Tulowitzki with a Z. Remind me in a few minutes when McCarver is telling a long, pointless story to go fix the spelling from a few minutes ago.
8:43 - Commercials = switching over to Major League. Hey, Bob Uecker! I would kill for all the outtake reels of Uecker from the filming of the Major League films. "Ball Four! Ball Eight! Ball Twelve!" Heh.
8:46 - Second Inning. I'm reminded of my friend Craig Richardson, who was very excited to buy the Rockies' baseball cap when it was unveiled back in the early 90's due to the interlocking CR. Somehow this didn't even crack the top 10 reasons we routinely made fun of Julio Craigar Chavez.
8:53 - Tim McCarver loves the phrase "Just to give you an idea how..." We're on usage #2 in just the bottom of the second.
8:57 - Cool graphic on the differences between Fenway and Coors Field...kudos, Fox.
8:58 - "There's a big difference between short hops and inbetween hops. Short hops are easy, inbetween hops are not." Thank you, Captain Obvious. After all the armchair managing that questioned Francona's decision to put Ortiz at first for the games in Colorado, surprisingly little love for Big Papi digging out a tough throw from Lugo.
9:04 - Yorvit Torrealba is batting. It's fun to hear his name and think that Jessica Alba married Joe Torre, and they hyphenated their names in reverse order.
9:07 - Wanda Sykes is the new voice of Applebee's. I'm not sure which one I should be making fun of.
9:08 - Maybe it's just me but Chris Myers always seems so smarmy, like a used car salesman stereotype.
9:14 - Bottom of the third and the second mention that Colorado has yet to test Ortiz and his gimpy knee at first with a bunt attempt down the first base line. Perhaps because the bunt itself is not a high-percentage play? And as I type this Matsui just hit a double over Manny Ramirez's head. Rockies fans everywhere are thanking the deity of their choosing that Joe Buck doesn't manage their team.
9:21 - If I were the music coordinator at Fenway Park, I'd cue up the chorus of Madonna's "Holiday" every time Matt Holliday came to bat. But that's just me. And since I don't know when I'll get the chance to mention it again, I actually WAS the music coordinator for a few games of my internship with the Tennessee Smokies, way back in the summer of 2002. (Where I got in trouble for playing a Nelly song.)
9:24 - We're through three innings, and Boston holds a 1-0 lead. Both pitchers look pretty good and the McCarver / Buck team has given me surprisingly little to work with.
9:32 - Tim McCarver will NOT shut up about Manny Ramirez knocking his helmet off while running the basepaths. Thanks to Tim, we know now that said action does not, in fact, make one a faster runner. If so, spouts McCarver, "you would see marathon runners and sprinters wearing helmets, only to knock them off while running." Oy vey. You just knew that old school commentators like McCarver (baseball's version of Bill Walton in re: to current players being inferior to the more fundamentally sound players of yesteryear like himself) would find something to fixate on with the more, shall we say, free-spirited Ramirez. Now if you'll excuse me, I will spend the remainder of the commercial break searchng youtube for the clilp of Deion Sanders dousing McCarver with cold water after the Braves won one of their many playoff series of the 90's.
9:51 - A cursory Google search comes up empty of the actual video. I refuse to believe it's not out there somewhere. Meanwhile the Fox crew jinx Colorado pitcher Aaron Cook by singing his praises during their in-game interview with Rockies manager Clint Hurdle. As soon as the interview ends Jason Varitek singles in Mike Lowell from second. It's 2-0 Boston and the Buck / McCarver team immediately jump on a chance to second guess Colorado's decision to pitch to Varitek. Cook rallies with two strikeouts to end the inning. I'm rallying out of my pajama pants in order to walk over to Starbucks to get something to drink.
10:09 - I return to my room in time to see Tulowitzki ground out to end the inning. Back in my minor league baseball intern days I got to write my fair share of postgame press releases, so it's been fun to look for the best, most concise way of describing the on-field action.
10:15 - Have you seen how long Manny Ramirez' dreadlocks are? They can't all be his real hair, can they? I mean, if women can get extensions, it's not completely out of question that Manny could have paid good money for some on an off day, right? Does anyone else think about these things?
10:21 - More Manny and his hat-removing antics. Video from the last inning. Video from last night. If you were McCarver's daughter, how fun would it be to show up for dinner with Manny as your date? Do you think McCarver's heart could take it?
10:23 - "You cannot say, without adjectives or platitudes, how good a job Jon Lester has done tonight for the Boston Red Sox." Well, no, you can't. Because that is the job of adjectives and platitudes both, to describe something. The grammar nerd in me also wants to point out that it's actually adverbs that describe the manner in which a verb or action is done, but whatev.
10:27 - Boston goes to the bullpen just in time for me to catch the immediate re-airing of Major League on ESPN Classic. I forgot that Wesley Snipes was in it. If I were famous enough to need a fake name for check-in purposes at hotels, I would use Willie Mays Hayes at least once a month. "He may run like Mays, but he hits like sh*t." Heh. I've been on the road so long, I don't remember if I own this movie or not. Next break in the action I'm hitting up Amazon to see if there's a version with commentary. Surely Tom Berringer and Corbin Bernson weren't too busy to get miced up and tell some great behind-the-scenes stories on a young Charlie Sheen and a pre-24 Dennis Haysbert.
10:31 - Shot of the Boston dugout and Dice-K has fallen victim to the old "gum bubble on the ballcap" prank. Good times when your team is up three games in the Series. Lowell goes yard to make it 3-0 on the scoreboard, so now I've got time to find a director's cut of Major League.
10:37 - We're reached the top of the 7th and this is officially the latest into a 2007 playoff game that I've been awake. Jason Varitek just singled, and I'm reminded that if I were a major leaguer, I would definitely sport the high socks look. If you've ever been to a game with me, odds are we've covered this topic on numerous occasions.
10:41 - Lonestar is on hand to sing God Bless America. Huh, I guess Reckless Kelly had a previous engagement. According to the PA announcer, Lonestar has sold over 10 million records. So far that's the most surprising statistic of the night.
10:46 - Brad Hawpe puts Colorado on the scoreboard with a solo shot to lead off the bottom of the 7th. Lonestar must have got his juices flowing.
10:52 - Boston's third pitcher of the night does NOT have the body language you want to see in your middle reliever. He gets just one out in the 7th before yielding another hit. Time for another pitching change. When we return from commercials, Matsui comes to bat as the potential tying run. Francona goes with Mike Timlin. All five of his postseason innings provide some ugly stats, but he's rocking the knee high red socks, so I like Boston's chances to escape the inning without any further damage.
10:58 - Boston fans everywhere just cringed with the shot of Eric Gagne warming up in the bullpen. Candles all across the Northeast are being lit for Mike Timlin right now. Regardless, now Timlin can't find the strike zone and rumors abound that Theo Epstein is frantically trying to sign one of the guys from Lonestar.
11:02 - Maybe his name should be Troy Tulo-whiff-ski, as he strikes out swinging to end the inning.
In all fairness, my little league career featured three official at bats, all strike outs.
11:06 - Bobby Kelty leads off Boston's half of the 8th with a homerun. Glad I'm not rooting for the Rockies this year. Ha, can't believe Nic still admits to liking Boyz II Men so much.
11:09 - Breaking news: Alex Rodriguez is opting out of his contract with the Yankees. Thank you, Scott Boras, for announcing this during the middle of a game. You, sir, are a class act. Except not. At all.
11:11 - Colorado turns a nice double play to momentarily silence all the A-Rod talk spilling out of the broadcast booth. Much is being made of Boston's attempted signing of A-Rod back in 2003, but I just don't see that being as good a fit for A-Rod as Chicago. But hey, if you're Boston and you have the chance to go after the best pure hitter in baseball, why not kick the tires and look into the idea? Mike Lowell's no slouch, but still...he's a free agent this year, so you never know.
11:22 - Manny Ramirez strikes out to end the inning. Fox's 100th House advertisement of the night gives me the idea that I could be House for Halloween next week. Rumpled, untucked button-up shirt? Check. Pair of lived-in jeans? Check. Cane? Easily purchased at Wal-Mart. Snappy one-liners? Check and check. Ladies and gentlemen, I've got myself a Halloween costume. Now all I need is a party to go to, preferably one with plenty of Fox viewers and/or Hugh Laurie fans.
11:24 - Kevin Youkilis replaces David Ortiz at first and Okajima comes in to pitch in the 8th. Cue the anxious close-ups of Rockies players and fans. I think we'll see Papelbon this inning if Okajima gets in trouble. Todd Helton and his 90's era goatee decide to test my theory by singling to left field.
11:33 - Atkins crushes a two-run homerun off of Okajima, bringing the Rockies within one run of tying the game. Still just one out in the 8th. In comes Papelbon for the potential five-out save.
11:43 - Two down now, and Brad Hawpe batting. He homered last inning, which feels like it was two hours ago at this point. Papelbon gets a flyball out to end the inning, but it took quite a few pitches to get out of the inning.
11:54 - Three up, three down for the Sox and we go to the bottom of the 9th...where it will be up to the bottom of the order for the Rockies to make something happen.
11:58 - Torrealba leads off the 9th by grounding out to second. Jamey Carroll steps in for his second at bat of the post season...not a good sign for Rockies fans. He hits the ball hard to left, but Ellsbury makes a good jumping catch at the warning track for the second out. It's now up to Seth Smith to keep Colorado's season alive. And Papelbon strikes him out to end the game, giving Boston its second world championship in four years.
And with that, another baseball season is in the books.
I love me some Bill Simmons but I was disappointed with the world series. Another Red Sox victory? *yawn* I can't outright root for the Rockies next year since they are in the same division as the Cubbies, but they were definitely a force to be reckoned with, with a seemingly unbeatable streak. Oh well, I'm counting down the days until spring training!
Posted by: alicia | October 29, 2007 at 01:43 AM
What a great blog... you combined baseball, grammar rules, Starbucks, and A-Rod leaving the Rangers' payroll. This may be your best ever, Mr. Brown.
Posted by: Bethe | October 29, 2007 at 11:36 AM
What up db! 2 things for you...
1. Gimme a call on my cell. Tried to call yours but it's disconnected...I got a mac laptop and I'm wanting to try out this whole video chat stuff. Let me clarify though - this is just on a friendly basis and nothing more so don't let your mind wander.
2. Dude - Amy (from "Curt and Amy" fame) is an absolutely amazing photographer. I checked out her blog from a link on your page and was blown away. I sent an email for some tips and she replied w/ some great info. Just in case you didn't already know - she's got a real talent.
later
jk
Posted by: Jay | October 29, 2007 at 02:08 PM
Dbrown,
Nice. Great stuff with too many classic "dbrownisms" to name...Nice shout out to the best musical group of all time too...That would be Boys To Men in case you were wondering...
Posted by: nic | October 29, 2007 at 09:38 PM
It also is the host of the Running for Women series, which allows women of all running abilities to train with others with similar running goals in a safe, coached environment.
Posted by: viagra online | September 14, 2010 at 05:17 PM